Guys and Glitter

I remember a time when my 4 year old son wanted to wear his sister’s clothing. Why? Because girl’s clothing and accessories are awesome! Who can blame him! The colors, the glitter, the sparkles, the different textures. Ahh! The former fashion enthusiast in me gets excited just talking about it. I’ve always had an appreciation for the arts (pictures, fashion, music, dance). In high school I attended the High School of Fashion Industries in NYC.  While I learned that I don’t exactly have the talent or drive for that industry, I still appreciate fashion as an art form. I love being able to express myself in my clothing, hair, make-up. I see that same appreciation in my son. But I lament that he will not be able to express himself as freely as I or another woman would without suspicion and question of his sexual and gender identity in the Christian community. We’ve had to teach my son (now 6), that he can’t wear those things because he is a boy. And honestly it breaks my heart!    Ok before a bunch of you disown me and unsubscribe, let’s establish a few things. I am a bible toting Christian. I believe God created man and woman, and does not make mistakes. I think everyone should identify as a cisgender male or female. I believe those who identify as transgender are people who are loved by God (and me) and should be treated with kindness and dignity. But I do believe that they have a mental illness that should be treated and not encouraged.    So what's my issue? I hate that we have to follow arbitrary societal norms, and push our kids to follow suit just to secure their sexual identity. We live in a society that is blurring and erasing gender completely. As a believer, how do we embrace God’s design for cisgender males and females without isolating those who don’t fit into our cultural stereotypes? I wonder if our traditional/narrow guidelines for sexual identity are actually causing some kids to question their God given gender? I say some because I recognize that gender dysphoria is much more complex than this. Is a boy who dances ballet and likes glitter any less of a boy than a football player? Is a girl who hates dresses and make-up  and wants wrestle any less of a girl? No, a person’s gender is determined by God and executed in the complex genetic laws of nature He created.  The DNA does not lie. My son is and will always be a boy no matter what he does or wears, because that is how God made him.   There is definitely a large part of me that would freak out internally if my son dressed in traditional girls clothing. I too am indoctrinated in our 21st-century American gender rules. My son no longer asks to wear the glittery things his sisters wear. When they dress in their multi-color tutus, I still see the twinkle in his eye. The desire to create and express himself visually. I watch as he combs thru his drawer of stripe and plaid round collar shirts looking for something of interest. For now, Disney and Pixar-themed character shirts will suffice.  We’ll see what the future holds.